Family Affair

Why is it that my siblings and I value our friends over each other? I do not know when it began and, though it has lessened recently, this vice is still among us. For instance, my older sister may loathe lending our little sister a drink from her water bottle; but if it were my older sister’s friend in need of a drink, the former would not have a problem sharing with the latter.

Another example finds me valuing the time I spend with my friends so much that I reluctantly allow my younger brother whenever he asks to join us.

At times when I find myself doing so, a verse comes to mind: (James 3:9-10) “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.”

In my prayers I thank God for the life he has given me, for the friends and family with which he has blessed me (-note the order). Β And yet, during those times I hang out with my friends, I begrudge my family the blessing and fun of doing the same.

Lately I have got better at not harboring jealousy against my family for sharing my friends with me. Can you believe how ridiculous I am? Oftentimes I am more possessive of my friends than of my own family, with whom I live and whom I see everyday. My brothers, this should not be.

Just as I value greatly the time I spend with friends, so I should cherish the memories I make with my family by enjoying and living in harmony with them.

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6 responses to “Family Affair

  • CortataWoods

    I know you wrote this a while ago, but I wanted to reply anyway. I had a problem with my sister a while back…I was excluding her from anything with my friends. It was a problem for a long time, but I finally did what I should’ve done a long time ago, and I talked to her about it. She was SO understanding, when I explained the issue. See, we do EVERYTHING together, and as much as I love her, I needed to have some time to myself, needed to have something only I did. So, we talked about it, and now it is so much better. First of all, we changed churches (that was actually three years ago) and now I have my group of friends, and she has hers. It is so nice, because I enjoy her company so much, but now I can have my friends, and she has what she’s never really had before, her *own* friends. And, there will be some things I just do, and some things she just does. But we still do things together.

    I’ll be praying for you! I just thought of something my mom always says…that when you’re an adult and are alone, your family’s all you’ll have, so keep that relationship strong.

    (sorry it’s so long)

  • Christy

    Thanks for the insight, Hannah.

    I’d say the only difference between your situation and mine is that you’re close to your sister and, as you said, you do practically everything with her.

    My problem is that, while I *have* been getting closer relationship-wise with my siblings, I don’t do everything with them. We do our schoolwork together, eat together, and sometimes play cards at 9 o’ clock at night together. That’s about as “together” as we are.

    I have some friends, like the Bushongs, for instance, who absolutely adore their family and Love to do everything together… my problem is that, most times, I *don’t* want to do things with my siblings, and that’s a maaaajor selfish attitude on my part. :\

  • CortataWoods

    Yeah, I see what you mean…but partly, that may be because you’re getting older. See, I used to play with my big brother, Caleb, all the time. But that was years ago, and now we don’t do to much together. It really takes some effort to do things together. I don’t know the ages of your family members, but for instance with Caleb, we have been going to movies with some friends we know this summer. One of them is Caleb’s age, the other my age. You can start looking for things like that, that may be different than what you might have done together in the past, but still keep your family together. It is *so hard* to stay connected sometimes, though. Is this something you’ve all talked about or something? It’s amazing how much it will help for everyone to know what’s going on, so you can all try together. I don’t know, I hope this helps, but I may just be rambling…

    And, I commented on your latest post, not sure if you saw it.

  • CortataWoods

    I have to add something, again it’s something my mom said: the best way to build relationships is shared experiences. She was talking about friends, but it counts for family too. Do things together, and you’ll have more to talk about, thus building your relationship. You’ve probably thought of this already, I just liked the way my mom said it.

  • Christy

    Ahh, getting older is such a DRAG! 😦

    Mmm. Good thoughts to chew on. Thanks.

    And – no worries about the rambling. Ahem. Look at the title of my blog. It applies to us both, I believe πŸ˜‰

    Mmm. Makes sense. And actually, I *kind of* thought about it, but no the way you presented it. Thanks a bunch, Hannah. πŸ™‚

  • CortataWoods

    I know, it is!

    You’re welcome, glad I could help.

    Haha! Right. Forgot about that.

    I know, it’s helpful when things you kind of already know are put into words.

    πŸ™‚

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