A Part of Me Will Die

I was on my way home from some runnings-around. I had just pulled into the neighborhood when I got a text from Rob: “Hey, we’re going to be putting Shaina down on Wednesday. Wanted to let you know so you could plan to see her one more time.”

Immediately I started crying. I cannot imagine life without Shaina. She’s really old for a dog (about sixteen, I believe), but I’ve only known her since she was ten. I’m going to hate going over to the Scheribel’s knowing she’s gone forever. Knowing I’ll never see her familiar, crooked head, adoring face, gorgeous black fur, playful bouncing – ever again. (Pictures don’t count.)

I hate death. I hate suffering. I hate that we have to let her go not even knowing if we’ll see her again in the Kingdom.

Does she know that on Wednesday her life will be ended? Does she know her nose will never scent out anything again? That she’ll never eat any of her disgusting dog food again? That she’ll never jump around Mr. Scheribel’s feet, begging to go outside, ever again? Does she know how much I’ve cried for her since I found out last night? Does she sense from her family that something’s going to happen? Can she feel that something’s amiss? Is she slightly anxious about it?

No. She’s just a dog.

But she’s not just a dog. She’s wonderful. She’s frisky. She’s gorgeous. She’s amazing. She’s playful. She’s everything to me.

If it hurts this much to loose an animal to the clutches of death, how much worse to loose one’s life partner! I don’t think I want to marry.

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3 responses to “A Part of Me Will Die

  • hannah

    Oh, I’m so sorry. We had to put our dog, Cassie, down a while back. I miss her so much. It’s sort of like…she just vanished. Not that she died, but that she’s just not here.

    I think there will be animals in the kingdom, including our pets. Because, how can we be happy without them? God created them, right, so why would they not be there? There will be plants, so why not pets?

    I know you feel like you don’t want to ever love anything again, but you have to remember something…despite all the death, and pain, and suffering, it’s worth it. It’s all worth it. It is better to love, and be broken by it sometimes, then to not love at all. I hope this becomes clear to you, if it isn’t now, and I pray God will help you through this hard time. Remember to look ahead to the time when God makes all things new.

    I’ll be praying.

    Hannah

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